Crassus, Redux?

Finally, I have an answer. I asked myself, why the need for mass concentration camps across the United States? Donald Trump, as is his wont, answered my question sanely and succinctly. Migrant fight camps. After all, why not round up our best non-native born housekeepers and landscapers and make them fight to the death for our amusement? They’re all mass murderers, rapists and psychopaths, anyway. Phew. And I thought he wouldn’t have a good answer!

I’ve a way to make the Fourth Reich even better. Separate the camps into mini-camps. The press camp would start with Bob Woodward, who Trump thought liked him until those fun interviews became a book. Throw in the entire staff of Pro Publica, all democrat reporters and those at Fox who don’t go the extra mile to make Trump look really good.

Then there would be the Expert sub-camp, led by the hated Dr. Fauci, who has saved gays from AIDS and entirely too many from being culled by COVID. Toss in anyone, from medical researchers to meteorologists, product testers, anyone who really knows anything about anything.

The Religion sub-camp would include all priests, imams, rabbis, and any protestant who doesn’t specifically toe the MAGA party line. Plus any philosophers, we can’t have that. May as well add anyone capable of independent thought, including all Democrats. I changed my mind, this is an entire camp, not a sub-camp. Everyone here will be in solitary confinement, as we can’t afford to have them talking to each other.

Another camp specifically for women. Uppity Black women, in particular. Now people would pay double to see these women fight to the death! Triple, even! Tish James vs. Fani Willis as the Main Event!!! Ini bikinis, in Jello. Of course Tanya Chutkan would be tossed in there preemptively because she’s sure to rule against Our Dear Leader. This camp would not be limited to lawers and judges, however. There’s plenty of room for women who want to keep the right to vote, bodily autonomy, financial independence, the right to not be killed by domestic violence. Also every women’s libber who ever lived on the planet.

Lastly, a camp for anyone who ever agreed with our founding fathers that there is a really good reason to separate church and state. That would include any democrat politician and all RINO’s. And anyone in the military who believes his/her oath of office is sacrosanct and will not obey an illegal order from Dear Leader.

Now that they’re all rounded up, the middle of the country is filled with MAGA undesirables, Reich IV can take the coasts. All the universities and prime military bases (Coronado and its golf course among them) have been vacated so there’s space for the faithful. Washington, D.C. is desolate so Marjory Taylor Greene and Lauren Boebert, who now run the city, have agreed to guest star in a special event at the arena that’ll be more popular than a Taylor Swift concert. Trump can’t decide whether to train them in pistols or swords, but promises it’ll be extra special and televised for an extraordinary fee that will be used to pay Trump’s legal bills and shore up his tanking DJT stock.

Hope this sounds good to you. All this activity will give us time to initiate the real plan. For the little people who don’t matter to billionaires or small-minded, myopic pols, I am… Spartacus

ps I hope all y’all are Spartacus, too.

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